Healing and patience.

I know it has been a week since my last post. How am I doing, you ask. Well, I managed the week pretty well considering I was nursing that bad tooth.

Am happy to report that the tooth extraction went okay yesterday, although the dentist cut the tooth out in three sections. Not the most fun appointment. That tooth was not going to leave my body without a fight. In retrospect, I understand now why I was in a considerable amount of pain for all these past months. I am celebrating that the tooth is gone - they never even let me look at it to bid farewell - but now, with a very swollen right jaw, I am truly healing. 

On Monday, I received my first infusion of the next step in my adventure. While there are no more toxic chemicals soothing me with love, I am receiving two drugs that will make certain any remaining cancer is kept at bay, should there be any cancer left lurking in my organs or tissues. These infusions I receive now are every three weeks until November, unless something in my April surgery changes that.

Through all of this, I have decided a cancer adventure happens in stages. There is the beginning with diagnosis, education, a mediport, and tests. I call that the Anxiety Phase. For me, it was panic, scare, and an underlying apprehension that stayed with me throughout - my blood pressure was always sky high. And yet, that scare helped me become more faithful and more trusting of God. I prayed for courage and strength. I still meditate daily, looking forward to each day's God given peace and joy.

Then there is the Endurance Phase. This challenged my mental attitude as each week I confronted cancer fatigue and submitted to the twists and turns of what drug could make me most miserable and what side effects would either lift me up or give me a complete and total downer where sleep was my best friend.. Chemotherapy, folks, is hard. I will always have deep, deep respect for anyone receiving chemotherapy. Always and forever. Amen.

Now I am in my self defined third phase. This is what I am labelling the Patience Phase. So no more chemo. No more toxicity in my system. But since the process is cumulative, I have five months of drugs to wash out of my system. That takes time. Lots of time...and water.

My nails need to heal. Looks like I am going to lose them all. My gastrointestinal processes will hopefully return to normal someday. Patience. Patience. My skin needs to regroup and lose all its toxic red spots. My taste buds can come back anytime. Really. I so look forward to delicious food again...someday. My energy? Somewhere along the line my energy transformed into weak and foggy. I am told it will rebound.  And then, there's my hair. Hmmm. I wonder...?

I'm sure I will insert additional 'phases' into my process. I'm facing surgery in April, and the sentence then to radiation or not. Sigh. 

Still, with all that has happened to me, I believe the worst is over. Hope has returned. My geraniums are blooming again!!! Between now and November, I will gradually burst forth on the normalcy scene as a healed human being with energy and a sense of humor. Just you wait!

And you know what the best part is? I am done with that cranky old tooth and all it's pulsing in my jaw since last fall. That's an hallelujah. Let the celebration begin. I keep wondering if it was as painful to grow that tooth in my teen years as it was to see it through its dying days. No matter. I'm done with it and looking forward to the bright future of spring and summer.

Signed here with shout outs to all of you who continue as my cheerleaders, The quilting cancer girl