Staying busy

This has been a good week. I finished one t-shirt quilt for my son, Jr., in Massachusetts. That was picked up and delivered last weekend by another son, Darren. It was fun making the quilt because all the shirts were Harley Davidson shirts, and if you know them, the Harley shirts are beautiful. They are really a joy to quilt. So happy that Jr. is thrilled with the results.

On Wednesday I finished two t-shirt quilts for the grandchildren of a friend. Both were fun to make as the t-shirts I was given told the story of their first ten to twelve years. So the quilts are a hug from their childhood memories that will certainly be treasured for years to come. Their grandmother was thoughtful to have the quilts made. 

Then I continued work on a double quilt for a new graduate. The top has been sewed together and will be quilted when we get home from camp, and after my Tuesday infusion. The quilt should be done and ready to deliver on Wednesday. 

So after last week's moaning and groaning and trip through whining country, I got myself busy and now feel good about my accomplishments. Moral of that story: when feeling down in the dumps, jump into a project or two or three and lift yourself up. No need to wallow. Wallowing doesn't improve anything.

There is so much for which we can feel grateful. And in my prayers, I let go of 'the stuff' that bogs me down and let God get back to guiding my way. Have had spontaneous encouragement from multiple conversations with quilting friends this past week, friends who just happened to call. Then my sisters shared conversations, as well as my sons and hubby. What would I do without them? 

As a special ad-on gift, we connected with a bird, after the sweet thing flew into our front window. Yes, we feed the birds, and the finches have been delightful this spring. They are bright yellow now, but sometimes they do not look where they are flying. Tom rescued this bird from the window sill and for about a half hour we cheered up our little friend. Then he flew away, ready to conquer the day. 

I have learned that if I am in need, I can reach out. Besides, it's the little things...like that bird...that make a difference. I often reach out to my sisters. There's Donna in Indiana. She is so busy and bubbly that when I call, her enthusiasm spills into my life. Before I know it I am excited about what is happening around me. 

Talking to my Chicago sister, Betty, often means texting. She is so caring and kind, and she's a funny speller. We laugh about 'tomatoes' instead of 'tomorrow'. (Inside joke!) I can hear her giggles even through texting.

So guess my post for today is about staying busy, keeping God close in your heart, and reaching out. For me, the responsibility is mine to stay focused on the positive, and to appreciate the God given support that comes when I least expect it. Communicating with the good Lord so often means prayers are answered by you folks 'out there', or a sweet, little bird. I am so grateful to know each one of you, especially as you inspire me to support others who are on a similar journey. 

Signing out and grateful for you all, The quilting cancer girl

The truth

I am going to tell you the truth. That's what this blog is about. The truth. 

I found myself back at the beginning today...back to feeling lost and anxious...only this time in the radiation world. I've found my way successfully through all the cancer protocols, but this radiation business happens in a whole new arena and it makes me apprehensive. 

After my hard time with the radiologist right before the lumpectomy in April, it is difficult to feel at ease with yet another radiologist. My unanswered question is does a radiologist have feelings or are they a group of doctors who are numb to the human experience. I am uncertain about how to respond to that, and hope that this time around the radiology barn I come away with a more positive outlook.

So this morning was not hard. I met at length with a nurse to fill out paperwork and answer lots of questions regarding my history. Then I had the freedom to ask all kinds of questions, after which time I watched a 10 minute educational video. The radiology doctor came in and recited a memorized speech about radiation therapy. The nurse returned and then I was transferred over to a secretary who schedules appointments. It all seemed so mechanical. 

Interestingly enough, as I drove home, I was angry. I am not sure why. I know psychologically that I must have this whole breast radiation to insure that my cancer never comes back. But I don't have my next appointment until June 14th and then it will be two weeks later that I start radiation. That is July and for the entire month I go every weekday for radiation.

That sure does mess with my summer. During the winter when chemotherapy was the pits, I focused on the pleasant joys of summer to keep me optimistic and upbeat. We love to go camping. July is the best month, great for hanging out in the hammock and spending time with good friends.  

And I have to commute back and forth to wherever they send me for twenty treatments. Worst of all is hearing that I will be fatigued and need to sleep. Darn. I slept away the winter and now I'm going to sleep away the summer too? 

I have loved having my energy return. Just today I finished two t-shirt quilts. Woot! Woot! Last week I finished one that was transported to Massachusetts. It's awesome to be my 'self' again. 

So this is one of my rare pity parties? I guess so. I dumped on my husband when I came home from this radiology consultation. Poor man. That wasn't fair to him. His reassuring response was that we will get through this too. My guess is I need to spend some time in prayer, and probably have a good cry. Haven't done that yet. In time. In time. 

What I actually decided to do was see if I there was something funny 'out there' to make me laugh or at least tickle my funny bone. A saying about a scarf came across my screen first. Was just silly but made me giggle. 

Strange how some little thing can get me out of my funk. And then I found this picture of the small elephant, and suddenly, finally I was able to cry. Now I feel so much better. Relief. Sigh. That's the truth and I'm sticking to it. 

Signed in a more positive state of mind, The quilting cancer girl

My camping soul

 No. I haven't stopped writing my blog. I've taken these last weeks to tackle COVID. Yup. My turn around the Covid world, and thanks to medication provided by my oncologist, I am guessing my trip through this illness wasn't as bad as it could have been. Hallelujah!

My husband works at Lowe's. They stopped using masks some weeks ago. And so we both stared at each other and the wall together, wondering if soon we could be well and drive out to camp. That is what we live for every year...camp.

We are fortunate to have a campsite at Skyline Campground near Attica, NY. Wonderful friends there support and love us no matter what challenges we face. Together we tell stories about our relative winter adventures, all while sitting on the deck, around the campfire, or just standing and talking in the sunshine. It's the best.

The winter season - from October to May - drained my psychological and biological battery this last year. Trudging through the chemo journey and then surgery means the worst is behind me. Now I am hoping that camp will give me the boost to muddle through radiation so I can enjoy the rest of the summer. I need that camp recharge. 

Recipes are shared along with delectable creations, aimed at teasing the taste buds and keeping the weight on. Just this morning I had the best French toast casserole from the neighbor next door. It was to die for! I think I need that recipe!

In my book, this is the best time of year. As people open up their campsites and pine sap leaves its mark, anticipation for a pleasant, restful summer floats softly through the air. I breathe it in every May, recharging my 'self', after a long winter. It feels similar to those first days of vacation from elementary school in June. Our steps are a little lighter and summer laughter lifts our souls. 

I have already raked the campsite and swept the deck. A campfire is blazing - and it's only 11:00 a.m. The small shed is open so we can pull chairs out and set them around the fire. The awning is up; the picnic table is in place. And already I've had visits from three or four friends, just to catch up. 

We are tending our plants. I've walked the dog. My senses are enjoying the pine trees and soon the hammock gets hung. Now I'm about to share some molasses cookies with the neighbors, and later this afternoon, more friends check in from Phoenix, Arizona.  This is the life. We are living the dream. I am so blessed.

Signed an enthusiastic camper, The quilting cancer girl

Today's update

Last Thursday I had my follow-up appointment with the surgeon. Great news for all of us: I am cancer free. Such relief comes from those words!!! Instead of "You have cancer," it is, "You are cancer free."

Thursday was a chilly, sunny spring day and I tasted freedom from cancer overload, carried since last September. New beginnings. Along with the spring flowers and budding trees, I will bloom again.

Still, there is more to be done. Complete freedom does not surround me until after a month of radiation and continued infusions every three weeks into November. I have my consult appointment with the radiologist on May 24th. That is the day I learn of my radiation plan. How exciting!

The surgeon tells me I have the worst behind me (chemotherapy and surgery). She says radiation will be a piece of cake. Hmm. I know I am dreading the radiation even more than the other two, because of family history with radiation. My grandmother and mother both had radiation and it was bad. Today things are different, I am told, so I can relax and not worry.

You will be happy to know my energy is returning. Woot! Woot! I have completed several quilts in the past week or so. I am riding my bike and mowing the lawn. I've been baking and cooking again, much to my husband's delight. And yesterday we opened camp at the Skyline Campground out near Attica, NY. Feels so good to be back there. 

I continue my 'struggling hair farmer' status. Is my hair coming in? Yes. I am happy to announce. Yes!!!! However, I look like a brand new baby (or my dad at 98) with uneven short fuzz making my head itch. This too will pass. I know. The fuzz does give me hope for better hair in the future. I pray it comes in consistently so I don't have to wear a hat all summer.

Interestingly, the clinic presented me with three free summer caps at today's infusion. The nurses said I will like my hair again but not until November. November!!! Sigh. Patience is possible actually, knowing that I am cancer free. God has been good to me...to us! We have pulled together and I am succeeding because you love me. Thank you. Thank you. It really does take a whole year, and we are so good together. I am so blessed, and very grateful.

Signing out as the struggling hair farmer, The quilting cancer girl