Yesterday was the start of my second infusion cycle, the beginning of a three week segment where I get chemotherapy every Monday morning. This first of the three is a heavier load. However, on a good note, I only received 10 IV bags this time where the first time I received 13.
And other news I learned in a meeting with the oncologist is (1) my chemo will last until about the first week in March and then they will assess the need for surgery, (2) after the surgery chemo will continue once every three weeks into the fall. I am realizing this is a one year adventure that in the happiest of endings may mean I will be cancer free.
There is a third positive piece of information. After examination, the tumor is decreasing. Lord, that was good news. To know these infusions and our prayers are making a positive difference is right up my alley. I could have jumped up and given the doctor a hug. My husband would have labelled me crazy (because I am a little) and we would have had a good laugh!
It begins with "LET ME INFUSE MY PEACE into your innermost being..." Wow! This got my attention immediately. I have believed since day one that God's Love was flowing into me. I came to that myself, and here was a prayer suggesting I am on the right track.
My encouragement to every cancer patient is to accept the same image if you have a faithful belief system. There is nothing as powerful for me as God's Love. (Believe it or not, I think of the street where we go for the infusions as "Love Lane" rather than "Park Club Lane".)
"As you sit quietly in the Light of My Presence", the prayer continues, "you can sense Peace growing within you. This is not something that you accomplish through self-discipline and willpower; it is opening yourself to receive My blessing..."
The prayer ends ..."You have learned to thank Me for hard times and difficult journeys, trusting that through them I accomplish My best work. You have realized that needing Me is the key to knowing Me intimately, which is the gift above all gifts."
Okay. Confession. I cried. Here was my day's sobbing point. They were not tears about chemo. It was more a realization that God connected with me to give me the strength, courage and peace I needed so badly. And you know what? The cleansing and the gratefulness that I have faith was an important part of making this day tolerable.
I had my infusion from 9-4:00 p.m., communicated with my Indianapolis sister throughout (it's like she sits in the chair beside me), and then I slept a drugged sleep that relaxed me till the end of the infusion. My honey picked me up and we had supper together. Walked my little Claire, and then slept in my recliner till bed at 8:30 p.m. All in all the day succeeded because God infused me with His peace and love and I accepted every drop of chemo knowing today would have a happy ending.
Signed affectionately, The quilting cancer girl
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